It’s all about the lens of perception. Or so they say…But not really when we hit the blues. I experienced it this year stumbling into one hurdle after another – trying to make sense of it all. From emotional meltdowns, to health issues; from identity crisis to problems at work– I’ve had it with the blues.

I tried to stay positive, pumping myself up with the usual affirmations, making a huge effort to stay on top of things. But I couldn’t. The pain overwhelmed me. I even had suicidal thoughts – an act of weakness I had always condemned. I couldn’t help myself humming a tune from the 80’s “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”. And tougher and tougher it got, and harder and harder it was to get out of the angsty and hopeless loop.

I sympathized with people fallen prey to depression – finding refuge in my yoga practice. It was my yoga practice that actually pulled me out and kept me going. Despite the physical and emotional pain I rolled the mat every day for a half hour or so. I re-tailored my advanced sadhana into a deeply restorative routine that offered a healthy blend of forward and back bends, garnished with standing poses and twists. It taught me acceptance and how to embrace change.

I had to come to terms with my chronic condition, accept it and trace back the indulgences that had led to it. It had to do with a certain level of greed, which drove me to excess. It was not greed for money or power, for acclaim and recognition. It was greed for constantly doing the same practice like a soldier, pushing against the edge, failing to heed the body’s needs.

Suddenly my practice had changed completely. There was not more pushing to get anywhere and do anything special. But there was a desire to be present with myself and let the emotions and tears well up. I cried as I practiced. Slowly the release came. I had given freedom to my emotions. I was no longer shy to confront them, to expose them. The practice became a lab for debriefing. I was getting rid of the internal clutter, both physical and mental, the clutter that had clogged my desires.

I emphasized the grounding effect of the asana. Instead of pretending that things were great, I was able to come to grip with reality and admit that things were actually out of control, and my body and being were screaming for change. I could no longer ignore that signal. So I amended my practice altogether – enjoying long routines that were deeply nourishing and simple. I anchored down. I felt my presence, my light and my purpose. I felt I had come for a very particular reason that I have known for life. I was ready to embrace my true calling as a teacher.

I discovered how little things I had done for others had changed their lives for good. I felt it was worth living a life geared towards helping others. I embraced my work, but was no longer consumed with it. This was the lesson I had learned from my yearly depression. I wasn’t just positive. I was intended to make those positive changes.  Slowly the focus on my service shifted my attention from the pain. I felt stronger and in tune with my inner desires. I knew that everything I had planted was going to crop up at the right time and place for my highest good and the collective good of all. That was a journey into divine reciprocity, which is the conscious echo of our actions.

Instead of talking pink, wearing pink or painting pink, we can add some red to the blue to make it purple. Purple is the color of transformation and change. If we stay rooted in our purpose, and enthralled by our own presence we will easily slip away from the tight grip of depression – and once again be happy and free.

Anti-depression Yoga Routine: Blue Is Pink (open level)

This anti-depression yoga routine blends forward and back bends, with twists and standing poses to help you find your inner focus and happiness.